Just New

Innocent eyes
in pasture size
with sheep as white
as the dazzling sleep

I send on weighted wings
the tragedy sings
with locked horns sent
to puddles pocked

Blond as airy ways
that never swings or sways
After all this time
we arise each time we fall

Angry

I hope it feels good
to break my heart
With daggers and embers and the sharpest points available.

I hope you enjoy my pain
And not much else because
you are destined to find someone
That isn't me.

I hope it feels good
to make me feel small and unimportant.
because you win.

I hope I mean nothing
Because I feel like
a whole lot of nothing.

(3/31/12)

Yellow

I was afraid to listen to the song
you played me on that night

fingers shimmering over porcelain keys
in a way that I could never master

somehow you played perfectly even
though you didn't remember a thing

and maybe I don't remember a thing
and maybe I'm choosing not to

those were the times when things 
were still mysterious and the only

facts were intoxicating scavenger hunts
and distilled grains instilled in our brains

and the words were all there
until they went away

I saw them down the staircase
growing fainter until you blinked

but couldn't tell if they still rested there
I don't know where they went

but they were gone
and just away.

Silence

Am I supposed to keep my mouth shut?

As friends part from lovers,
I smile, smug, in my own power,

but what's this?
You have secrets too?

How naive I was to think
that I was the only one.

Life goes on, and mysteries go on,
and the whirring in my brain drowns out it all.

(10/10/12)

One Way Street

They will not see in color!
No, but what would you expect
eyes don't see in black and white
I meant in silhouettes.

Just in two floors and squished between
I cannot help but sort by type,
One a shining light veneer
the other, darkened stripe.

Either way, I'm sitting here
with not a lot to do,
one who'll have me any day
and one I never knew.

The Web

Slender wisps of white

whisk through electrified air

where all words and thoughts

are transferred in modernity

Silently waiting with breathless

wonder, as all paper turns to dust

and cracked screens send rays

of light - blue, red, and green

Have I said too much?

Stacks of smiles and news

sent with secret enthusiasm

has become too cement-walled

Split. Scared. Senseless.

2 Worlds

High up on mountain tops
caught in the smoky haze of
vaporized narcotics
sent to you in a safety deposit box
given, bequeathed to you since birth.

In encyclopedias these words do not
exist, they live far underground,
under skin and blood and flesh.

And lips and hearts.

Laughter mixed with methanol
ethanol reaching those same
pumping arteries and fingertips.

Even when the rest of the world
lies forgotten like your shirt on my
floor, you still have that weight in
your mind, the one that reminds
that tells me kiss me.

A Frightening World

Mirror panes

in all directions

slashing pains

from recollections

needle veins

and sharp injections

drunken reins

and wrapped erections

long sleeved shame

bruised complexions

no one came

with real objections

forgotten names

secret protections

never games

with word corrections

Aspartame

and imperfections

The Ocean

The ocean breeze calls me closer every day.
I try to tell it,
"Wait, I don't understand."
But when have sea shells ever stopped their humming in your ear?

According to the angle of the sun,
my smoke signals should have reached the land by now.
But I fear my luck has just run out,
and til the end of days
the sand will be my most precious gold.

My ship will come most faithfully in just 3 days,
with white sails and ginger ales.
But until then, I'm swirling in a sea
and the single creature I can spy
will not tell me what it thinks of my interesting predicament,
it would rather eat me instead and spit out my bones
to the never ending
sea.

yes

I miss you like the sun
wishes there was a breeze coming from the west
to offer a cool hand to the seismic tremors of the Earth.

Send me ocean drifts and salty seas
to calm the thoughts that threaten to swirl
in my head forever.

Words can only make this worse,
I am convinced,
but yet I cannot cut off all of my threads
with swimming dreams and indefinite wifi.

Even without electrical currents,
even drowning in 8 ounce cups,
even soaking up all the rays,
even running miles in my head
and countless hot air balloon rides,
I cannot forget, and I cannot expect to make anything but mistakes.

Even more than 400 miles make me want to
doubt my mind. I know I am not stupid,
but when I told you to keep my heart in mind,
I fear you listened only temporarily.

Grasp, in my direction,
if nothing else. I feel silly
and my heart is on a tightrope,
destined to fall off.
You might as well tell me sooner
rather than later
so I can call up someone else to
fill the chasm you left.

And so it begins again

Gently, he removes the heavy weight from between my shoulder blades.
Unless i am mistaken, his eyes are sending me a message, although i cannot see them - my back turned.
The wafting smell of pine cinders make my mind wander, dreaming of the warmth that emerges exclusively in the winter months.
He draws back my attention effortlessly and unknowingly.
Realizing that the moment is fading, i turn to face him, our bodies no closer than only seconds before, but now any separation would seem unbearable to me.
I look into his eyes, chocolate brown, searching for the secrets of his thoughts.
Eyes no longer conveying correctly what he wants to say, he leans forward and our lips connect for the first time, softly smoothly and gently.

The Consuming Flames

I couldn't believe that it took fireworks.

Red fire, consuming my oxygen
and my thoughts.
And the tones of your voice
like booming thunder
filling my ears with a ringing
that I could hear even after
you left me.

You entered amidst a black sea of other people.

The room was dark, shrouded
in black lace and prayers.
But somehow you appeared to me
clearer and brighter
than any disco ball
or compact fluorescent could ever manage.

The soot soon smothered us all.

The flames licking bright new brick
and threatening to swallow us
piece by piece
taking with it our pressboard furniture,
just so that the interior matched our skin -
covered in shining, charcoal burns.

I couldn't believe that it took fireworks.

Red fire, of my creation
consuming every part of you.
And as if the spectacle wasn't enough
the first time,
an encore seemed fitting,
doused in gasoline.

moving on

You have never loved me
and I know you never will.
The you I loved is lost -
I forgive, am calm, and still.

I'm Sorry

I would like to say
sorry,
for treating you this way

Sometimes I feel
a. confused – cracked, crazy
that my room is full of
pictures, photos, philosophies, psychoanalyses,
memories, and memos
but your square slumps, lonely
against the left side wall
b. stressed – scared, stupid
because every time our eyes meet
and our greetings float over
countless heads and pizza slices

I fear your parting thoughts go something
like this:
what. a. bitch.
But I do not want to make excuses.

Every passing day
runs too quickly
into the next,
counting down only gets worse and worse
until we are no longer friends,
or even acquaintances

As I increasingly hear that
- it will surely snow tomorrow -
my apology runs the risk of never
descending upon your ears,
or anyone else's.

And I just have to tell someone that
I am
sorry

You Treated Me Well

I must say, you treated me well.
roses clipped, dressed and gently placed
just for me.

hearts: pink, pressed, glued and smiling
just for me.
kinda.

messages sent from feathered fingers
tracing skin and freckles and -
flying fingers over keys
never played the chords just right.

instead:
i waited.
i waited.
i was dissapointed.

Still, I must say, you treated me well.
you never cheated, never yelled, never lied,
but I must say,
you could have treated me better.

mania

The first thing I ruled out
was mania

My money makes more - multiplies

and the clothes in my
closet come out

costing not more
than a few dozen dollars
or so.

The Glorious Dream

For so long I was wandering
in the crushing, painful dark,
anger uncontrolled, and I-
cursed with the blackened mark.

Then you revealed, with tearful eyes
within my glorious dream,
the secret that was locked inside-
its piercing, golden gleam.

That you were sent- far from me;
you'd love me if you could,
and though it was the saddest day-
at last, I understood.

And even though, in life I know,
It's not reality
I do forgive and now must live-
the Truth has set me free.

The Golden Summer

The caramel of the sun rays
matched the caramel of your hair
while the dust of dreams and dandelions
danced on sparkling air,

Beneath blue skies, we sat in
fields of summer roasted wheat
with the whispers of used whispers
left to wander at our feet,

With crimson lips of cashmere
and gleaming azure eyes
amid your feathered words
were anything but lies,

With bark behind our backs
there was no need to rush
even as the skies turned gold
from orange evening blush,

Never could this moment fade
but never could it stay
I promise I will not forget
any moment of any day.

-Dedicated to B.S., who was only ever perfect.

Mini Haiku Day :)

Just a little Haiku today :)
And this is a first because I've never written a poem about this particular person before.



How to make me smile:
the scintillating ocean
in your eyes would help.

A Distinguished Journey

I saw a giant hawk today;
It looked me in the eyes.
And with its shining angel wings
it took me to the skies.

From the air I saw the world;
All emerald and small.
And though the bird was shook by wind
I did not fear the fall.

Soaring over mountains tall
and oceans just as green,
I saw the treasures of the Earth
as I had never seen.

Approaching near to heaven,
but closer to the Earth,
I was as close to perfect
as I had been since birth.

At last he set me down again
upon the sparkling dust,
I'd rather just go on with him,
but return to life I must.